Original Entry:
September 25, 2011
McMinnville, OR
A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor, but a
man of understanding holds his tongue.
Proverbs 11:12
A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a
man of understanding is even-tempered.
Proverbs 17:27
Every man has an
Achilles heal. Every man has that one
weakness that might ruin him. Every man
must discover his weakness and rally help form those who want him to win. Men need other men to watch their blind
spots.
My greatest strength
is my ability to see a problem, strategize, and react. My greatest weakness is my tendency to over
react without thinking through a given situation. As a leader I have learned to
control this, but am learning as a father and husband. I only hope I can figure it our soon
enough.
A man’s ability to
have control over his words is a great asset (Galatians 5:22). A man’s
inability to do the same is a great liability.
In Proverbs 11:12 we learn
that, “A man of understanding holds his
tongue.”
Proverbs 17:27
also says, “A man of knowledge uses
words with restraint.” Ah, restraint!
Let me tell you what I am learning about holding my tongue. A pastor
friend was telling me about a method he was using to shepherd anxious people in
his church when I realized my family needed the same from me. Let me share his thought with you.
1. Remain calm. Instead of reacting stop, hold your tongue and think about
the next response.
2. Don’t
react. Anxious people under high alert are looking for any reason to go
off. Refusing to react is a calming
force to potentially volatile people.
3. Don’t react to other’s reactions. This is huge. Remain calm when others are going off. Their stress does not need to be your
stressor. Use restraints, hold your
tongue, and pray for the right response-a calm response.
4. Define
yourself (and the person you are with). I have found this to be highly
effective. When I do this right I will
say something like, “Hey James, that is not who you are. I am surprised to hear that from you knowing
what you believe.”
5. Keep your eyes on Jesus. Ultimately it is
Jesus who defines the man. He made us,
he calls us and he has commissioned us to believe. Christ must always be a man’s baseline and
motivation.
And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,
fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. (Hebrews 12:1b-2a)
