Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much. ~James 5:16
At conferences, I invite men into the sacrament of confession. I’ve discovered two things about men and sin. First, people hide secret sins until caught. Two, there’s tremendous power in confessing our sins to a trusted friend or safe person.
While at a Midwest men’s conference he waited patiently as I ministered to other men. Well over six feet tall and three hundred pounds, he was an intimidating presence. When we were finally alone he moved strategically towards me.
“I want to share my ugly?”
“What do you mean? What’s an ugly?” I questioned
“My sin. You’ll be offended.”
“You can’t share something I haven’t heard before.” Oh, was I about to be wrong?
“I’m a pedophile.”
Stunned. Silence.
He explained, “You lust after women. You think about horrible things with children. I’m a Christian. I’m married. I have children. I’ve never touched or harmed a child—ever. But I’m haunted by lustful thoughts. Only you and two friends know my ugly.”
We prayed together. I explained that pedophilia, like other sexual sins, is an action, not identification. I’m not an adulterer just because I’m tempted by lust. I‘m a follower of Jesus, who battles something I celebrated before I knew Jesus.
It’s not our favorite sin that identifies us. It’s who we follow. If I love God with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength (Mark 12:30), but have a propensity towards homosexuality—for example—I am not a homosexual until I act upon those urges. My actions identify me, and not my temptations (1 Corinthians 10:13).
“I follow Jesus”, must precede identifying statements like, “I’m an alcoholic. I am a homosexual. I am a porn addict. I’m a pedophile.”
Commit your life to Jesus and stop indulging in sin. If a man isn’t committed to Jesus, this discussion means nothing. He’ll continue to celebrate his sin. But if you follow Him, victory over temptation means everything.
After prayer with this Midwest man, he wiped his bloodshot eyes and thanked me. He shared his ugly but discovered the beauty that he was a child of God; a son of the King.
Who are you? What’s your ugly?
We prayed together. I explained that pedophilia, like other sexual sins, is an action, not identification. I’m not an adulterer just because I’m tempted by lust. I‘m a follower of Jesus, who battles something I celebrated before I knew Jesus.
It’s not our favorite sin that identifies us. It’s who we follow. If I love God with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength (Mark 12:30), but have a propensity towards homosexuality—for example—I am not a homosexual until I act upon those urges. My actions identify me, and not my temptations (1 Corinthians 10:13).
“I follow Jesus”, must precede identifying statements like, “I’m an alcoholic. I am a homosexual. I am a porn addict. I’m a pedophile.”
Commit your life to Jesus and stop indulging in sin. If a man isn’t committed to Jesus, this discussion means nothing. He’ll continue to celebrate his sin. But if you follow Him, victory over temptation means everything.
After prayer with this Midwest man, he wiped his bloodshot eyes and thanked me. He shared his ugly but discovered the beauty that he was a child of God; a son of the King.
Who are you? What’s your ugly?
