Orig. November 30, 2010
“You are the most excellent of men and your lips have been anointed with grace, since God has blessed you forever.” Psalm 45:2
Like most people, I had tremendous fear of public speaking. In fact, unless absolutely unavoidable I refuse to speak in front of people whether it be in the form of raising my hand to answer a question, perform in a skit or drama, sing, do an oral presentation, or anything else you can dream up. This fear continued into college where my method of operation was to read the syllabus of a given class and if the course requirements involved an oral presentation I would politely hand the syllabus to the professor, thank him or her, and walk out of the room never to return!
This all changed soon after I gave my life to Jesus and was shoved into full time youth ministry when the Campus Life Director quit, his replacement couple moved, and they were going to shut down the Morro Bay club. I literally begged to keep it open. This forced me into a speaking role as not only the Director but the only volunteer! I was a horrible communicator and soon began to wrestle with my fear of public speaking. One cool coastal evening in Morro Bay, California I remember wrestling with God over this and as an ignorant student of the Bible God took me to a verse I had never read before and used that verse to change my life. “You are the most excellent of men and your lips have been anointed with grace, since God has blessed you forever (Psalm 45:2).” Furthermore, after taking me to the story of Moses and the Burning Bush in Exodus 3:1-4:17 I relented to His will, and began what has become nearly a quarter of a century of public speaking ministry to students.
I remember my words limping along and struggling deeply with my call to speak even though I was not gifted to do so. One night in particular stands out in the recesses of my mind. On this night the youth staff reviewed all components of our meeting and when it came to my ten minute “talk” to 40 Atascadero High School students, one staff guy bluntly stated, “Jim, you obviously have a heart for students and a sense of calling but you will never be a good speaker.”
“What! God! Why would you call me to something only to be horrible at it? Am I the butt of some cosmic joke?”
Two decades later I still fear public speaking but can with all honesty and humility say it is by far the greatest asset of my ministry. Like a Louisville Slugger when I step up to speak I know am in a Divine sweet spot. That sweet spot would not have been discovered had I run towards fear and away from the anointing. God gifts His kids when He calls them. God gifts us when He makes a promise to us. Even if it does not happen instantly, be ready, the anointing is coming! God is patient with His promises (2 Peter 3:8-9) but if we remain faithful to His promises to us He will remain faithful to His word.
The road to God’s anointing is a high, treacherous, obstacle-laden path filled with fear and failure. The traps of the enemy wait to snare us but it is the greatest game trail to be on and the greatest hunt of a lifetime. Listen to what God is saying to you. Ask Him to show you His will, “You do not have, because you do not ask God (James 4:2).” Surrender to His anointing in your life and walk the narrow path that so few take to victory, “For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the (trail) that leads to life, and only a few find it (Mathew 7:13-14).”
