“For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife;
and they shall become one flesh.” ~ Genesis 2:24
and they shall become one flesh.” ~ Genesis 2:24
I love performing weddings. Two beautiful, young, and naïve people fall in love, get married on some tropical beach, and move with choreographed fluidity through life, just as the sun sets over the ocean.
Ah, if it was only so simple—or true.
The fact is substantially more gruesome and I wonder if we’ve been sold another Hollywood lie—fake news. Let me share my thoughts.
Marriage is more like Three-Legged Race. Idealistic couples get married and the next day the wedding ring turns into a gunnysack. The young bride and groom discover that the inside leg is inside the sack as they hobble through life—as one?
Yes, one flesh literally joined at the hip.
Some learn to run together naturally while others struggle to find a stride. All couples stumble, fall, and get up at some point along the way. And tragically, over half, frustrated with this unsuspecting challenge pull out their leg, throw in the towel that looks strangely familiar to a gunnysack, and walk away along with their reclaimed solo rhythm.
Marriage is falling in love, marriage, and a horse-drawn carriage ride into a tropical sunset. Rather, it’s rising into love, hobbling in a gunnysack, up the unforgiving slopes of life. Marriage is much more like a hobbling horse than a horse-drawn carriage.
You read that right, marriage is about rising into love. Marriage is awkward at first, even more awkward for those ignorant souls who dare to test the marriage covenant with the convenient move towards cohabitation, which only prolongs the inevitable and increases the chance of divorce.
We fall in love for about six months and rise into it for over six decades, during which we learn how to love our spouse. We love them through their pain. We love them through their brokenness. We love them through the varying seasons of life.
We learn their rhythm. We catch their stride. We learn the art of hobbling until one day we appear one entity in one stride, with one mind. It’s then that marriage becomes beautiful and couples learn the art and form the habit of hobbling in unison.
Where do you need to sacrifice your rhythm or stride to match your bride’s? Rise into it. The sooner the better.
